This poem is usually spoken only, but I want to share it. I wrote this while living in Los Angeles attending a drama school where the populous of straight men was dense. Then I thought to myself, "Self, there was no boyfriend before LA, so it must be something else..."
I'mma Square
by Lisa B.
My heart and soul are perpendicular
They often meet up and talk to each other
Right now, they tryna help me find a brotha
I always get dumped and clumped into the friends category
I’ve been invited in sharing too many NBA stories
I am one click a away from E-Harmony
So I decided to write a dating profile summary
It reads...
For 90ยบ days I like to sit in the shade but I like my dudes darkskinneded
But I’ll go for the lightskinneded, hell at this point I’ll hook with a Palestinian who hates Americans
Legit
Romance went on a haitus
Va-whomp whomp in hibernation
My check list keep diminishin
Narrowed down to two
Be a straight
No Egos
I need a man that can take a woman that’s devoted to her business
Yeah I independently pay my bills but on a dude I’ll still depend
But it Depends
I often check out what’s in your pants to make sure leaks of arrogance isn’t trickling down your legs
So excuse me if I’m staring
I’m not checkin for your inches
I’m checkin to see if you are an ego ho
A ego is to me
What a Leo is to a Pisces
I am the real
Legit-I-mate rhymes with mics that give birth to lyrical clauses that gain applauses
But I no care if no one gives me a round
I’mma square
The angle of my hair always right
Ready to square off at any mic
You boast about hood rhymin crew
I’m from GI
We make your inner city circles look like Urkels
Wanna get even Steve?
Then step into my precious
Where I am Lord of the Squares
Trilgogy
This is The Return of the Queen MC’s
And I ain’t talking ‘bout no Nikkie
Oh of this you can be sure
I no-lye like relaxers
I keep it 10²
Truth commercials?
Nicotine?
Smoke me
I’ll make you look real cool
I’mma square
You know, the kind that’s into science
E=MC²
I Energize the Crowds by the Masses
And that is the side of me that the boys can’t handle
Won’t fondle
It’s like I stole they girl
They hate how I one night mic stands
Leave no money on the table
By the way I present
It’s obvious
I use to love H.E.R.
No Homo
But don’t you test me
I will stroke that mic so hard and hand you back your testes
I’m fearless without the balls
How about you grow a pair
Grow a face and some hair
For that ego
Before what’s left of your brain grows a pair of legs and runs away forever
How about you go away?
You fall prey to my bait
Tweets and status updates
Well here’s some honesty box for you
You’re to cool for me
To busy chasing hoes and money
But
S-Q-U-A-R-E spells American Cheese
And I get it, no gimicks
Hickory
You may need to pop a round on to keep up with me
Wanna play four corners?
Take it to the fourth quarter?
Dickory dock shot clock diminishing
Game, I win
Wanna run it back?
Trust me
You don’t want a rematch homie
That’s when I take you to the land of 3d
Where every one would wanna be a square just like me
Lisa B.
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