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Monday, January 31, 2011

Breaking Down The Myths: The Funny Thing About Relationship Advice

It's Sunday morning. My wife and kids are getting ready to head to church, and I am getting ready to hit the streets in the pursuit of dividends by selling kicks. This is not what is on my mind. As I watch my son make his breakfast and my wife help my daughter get dressed, I think about something: There is something really peculiar about relationship advice.

There are an endless amount of websites, books, television shows and random items that deliver the all important message of how to handle, control, understand, women, men and of course relationships. Daily talk time radio is inundated with "What women want, what men can't do, what men think women want," shows. While it makes for entertaining and hilarious radio and television, often the advice comes from professionals and non-professionals who have failed.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Redefining the Labyrinth: Track 14

Redefining the Labyrinth was a project I began while teaching at a local Memphis High School. With the current uproar about all that is wrong in the Memphis City Schools, I thought it would be interesting to post the work generated by four high school seniors, who are products of a system that everyone assumes is not capable of developing and producing productive students who can compete in this socioeconomic culture. I edited the book and contributed essays to give the book a shape and form, but it was the work of the students that allowed for the completion of this work. The artwork was completed by the student author DeVarius Fisher and the idea to make the name of each chapter an allusion to a song in Hip-Hop was a collaborative effort. I will post each student essay here on the blog. There is also a Question and Answer section in the book. If you would like to purchase a copy click here.


 
 
 
Track

14

Featured Artist: London Maclin

Talkin About It: Teaching and Learning

In the early 1900’s, blacks had a hard time obtaining a decent education because of local, state, and federal laws. The many that tried to challenge the laws faced prison time as well as death. They risked their lives for the generation today so that we could have a top notched education. As the years have passed, education no longer seems relevant to society and is more focused on personal choices made by individuals. While blacks once focused on education, they now focus on work. The desire to have things has usurped the importance of learning. Parents are working more and children are suffering.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Redefining the Labyrinth: Track 13

Redefining the Labyrinth was a project I began while teaching at a local Memphis High School. With the current uproar about all that is wrong in the Memphis City Schools, I thought it would be interesting to post the work generated by four high school seniors, who are products of a system that everyone assumes is not capable of developing and producing productive students who can compete in this socioeconomic culture. I edited the book and contributed essays to give the book a shape and form, but it was the work of the students that allowed for the completion of this work. The artwork was completed by the student author DeVarius Fisher and the idea to make the name of each chapter an allusion to a song in Hip-Hop was a collaborative effort. I will post each student essay here on the blog. There is also a Question and Answer section in the book. If you would like to purchase a copy click here.




Track

13 2nd Verse


Featured Artist: DeVarius Fisher


Never Be Peace

African Americans continuously encounter problems due to our history. These problems consist of inequality, prejudice, and a general disrespect towards African Americans and our contributions. These mistreatments are the foundation of the current situations African Americans face in society. While stereotypes, Misogyny, Education and the prison industrial complex are all important issues, poverty could be the most important and the root cause of these issues. African Americans should acknowledge the fact that poverty is the root cause of these problems we encounter, and address it as a continuous struggle.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Redefining the Labyrinth: Track 13

Redefining the Labyrinth was a project I began while teaching at a local Memphis High School. With the current uproar about all that is wrong in the Memphis City Schools, I thought it would be interesting to post the work generated by four high school seniors, who are products of a system that everyone assumes is not capable of developing and producing productive students who can compete in this socioeconomic culture. I edited the book and contributed essays to give the book a shape and form, but it was the work of the students that allowed for the completion of this work. The artwork was completed by the student author DeVarius Fisher and the idea to make the name of each chapter an allusion to a song in Hip-Hop was a collaborative effort. I will post each student essay here on the blog. There is also a Question and Answer section in the book. If you would like to purchase a copy click here.






Track

13

Featured Artist: Michael R. Walker

Poverty and Crime: The Chicken or The Egg?

How to Create a Stronger Black Economy

There are so many variables involved in creating a stronger black economy that it is very difficult to see it being done in a short period of time. However, in the long haul, we can create a stronger black economy by investing in higher education, becoming land and/or home owners, and investing in and supporting black owned businesses.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

The State of Our Ideas


You know the drill by now guys. I catch up on my Teen Mom 2 while I recap what I saw on my television screen. Between our economic status, birds dropping dead, and the fact that we are in a gajabafillion dollars in debt, I figured it would behoove me to tune in and listen to my President speak. I’ve been looking forward to this more than my weekly affair with BET’s The Game. Besides, if I can recap word for word the happenings of a scripted drama about fictional characters, I can recap the words of a man leading a real country comprised of real people like you and me.


Above all of the major points that were brought out, the major chord that resonated within me is the importance in the POWER OF AN IDEA. "Innovation doesn’t just change our lives, it’s how we make our living.”


I watched the SOTU with my baby boomer parents who may not realize just in fact how much the world has changed. Just last week, I accompanied, ok forced, my mother to go by her first laptop and tied my father’s arms behind his back and waived a chicken wing in front of his face until he agreed to wifi the house. j/k. I read that 18-35 year olds spend an average of 40 HOURS a week on the internet. That’s a full time job. Is it because we are unemployeed and have nothing better to do, or are we starting to realize the earning potential the internet is capable of helping us generate.


To do this day, my father, who worked for the same company for 30 years still tells me to get a job. He doesn’t know that every time I crack open my computer in the comfort of my now internet ready home, I make money. Now, through the aid of mentors and supporters, I’m finally beginning to wake up to discovered that I’ve literally make money while sleeping thanks to the internet.


Do you remember a few years ago when Facebook was just another (Imagine a old man on his porch with no teeth saying) “Oh these kids are just doing nothing and wasting their time.” Now “these” sites are the proof of our existence, of company’s existence. It was once that you’re considering a nobody if you’re not in the yellow pages. Yellow pages? What’s that? Exactly. Someone came along with an idea. But it’s bigger than one person thinking of something. With the internet you have the ability to reach the largest audience ever: the World. Mark thought of facebook. We, his fellow generationeers (new word), sustains it. Whose waiting to sustain your next idea. What are you waiting for? Scared? This world is so ever changing that if you failed at a venture, by the next time Lindsey is behind bars again, everybody would have forgotten. Move on to the next idea.


We are the children and the children’s children of the baby boomers that they are always talking about. It is time for us to continue to step up to the political plate.

Invest in your ideas and realize the power within them and the earning potential. Earning potential that can stem far beyond money, but setting up a sound financial and moral future for OUR children and OUR children’s children.


Health care, energy, defense, debt, taxes...and the list goes on and on. All of these solutions I believe are being held hostage in the brain of someone in my generation.


Baby boomers, we appreciate it, we really do. But this is our time now and yes, I am really concerned about where are they gonna find this 55 billion dollars that they owe you through social security for your retirements, but who’s going to take care of us in our old age: our ideas.


Read his whole speech here:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/25/obama-state-of-the-union-_1_n_813478.html

Redefining the Labyrinth: Track 11

Redefining the Labyrinth was a project I began while teaching at a local Memphis High School. With the current uproar about all that is wrong in the Memphis City Schools, I thought it would be interesting to post the work generated by four high school seniors, who are products of a system that everyone assumes is not capable of developing and producing productive students who can compete in this socioeconomic culture. I edited the book and contributed essays to give the book a shape and form, but it was the work of the students that allowed for the completion of this work. The artwork was completed by the student author DeVarius Fisher and the idea to make the name of each chapter an allusion to a song in Hip-Hop was a collaborative effort. I will post each student essay here on the blog. There is also a Question and Answer section in the book. If you would like to purchase a copy click here.


 
 
 
Track

11

Featured Artist: DeVarius Fisher

The Nigga Nature

Hip-hop music has an established language that has influenced the African American culture. This influence continuously inspires our community in a negative way. This is an issue that is mainly affected by things that happen in entertainment. The word nigga is spoken continuously by rappers and other entertainers alike. Who says that it is only a word? It is the root cause of how unconscious nihilists develop in society. The word nigga should not be said because the media market profits from glorifying the word in a negative way, which continuously contributes to the behavior of African Americans in society.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Redefining the Labyrinth: Track 9

 Redefining the Labyrinth was a project I began while teaching at a local Memphis High School. With the current uproar about all that is wrong in the Memphis City Schools, I thought it would be interesting to post the work generated by four high school seniors, who are products of a system that everyone assumes is not capable of developing and producing productive students who can compete in this socioeconomic culture. I edited the book and contributed essays to give the book a shape and form, but it was the work of the students that allowed for the completion of this work. The artwork was completed by the student author DeVarius Fisher and the idea to make the name of each chapter an allusion to a song in Hip-Hop was a collaborative effort. I will post each student essay here on the blog. There is also a Question and Answer section in the book. If you would like to purchase a copy click here.




Track

9

Featured Artist: London Maclin

Life Is Real: The New Civil War of the 21st Century(A Children’s Story)

The nation, our America, is at war… within itself. African Americans are on one side of the battlefield and the whites are on the other. Waiting for a signal to charge, the tension, dislike, and the hate is constantly rising and mounting. The reason for this war like affair is due to the system of standards within this country for different races. Favoritism and special treatment between the races has caused a spilt within the homeland. The races are looking for any kind of weakness that they can invade. Hoping for a way to win, they both plan. In the midst of all this mayhem, the government is silently sitting back, betting on which side is going to win. They send officials to both sides with false information about the other. The battle for jobs, housing, and quality schooling has turned the twenty-first century into a modern day civil war.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Redefining the Labyrinth: Track 7

Redefining the Labyrinth was a project I began while teaching at a local Memphis High School. With the current uproar about all that is wrong in the Memphis City Schools, I thought it would be interesting to post the work generated by four high school seniors, who are products of a system that everyone assumes is not capable of developing and producing productive students who can compete in this socioeconomic culture. I edited the book and contributed essays to give the book a shape and form, but it was the work of the students that allowed for the completion of this work. The artwork was completed by the student author DeVarius Fisher and the idea to make the name of each chapter an allusion to a song in Hip-Hop was a collaborative effort. I will post each student essay here on the blog. There is also a Question and Answer section in the book. If you would like to purchase a copy click here.

 
 
 
Track

7

Featured Artist: Tevin Hudson

Motivation

African Americans are very talented, but do not promote their endowments because peers may mistreat them. Many African Americans appear intimidated and afraid of intelligence. The perception of African Americans as anti-intellectuals has validity due to the images generated by the media.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Redefining the Labyrinth: Track 5

Redefining the Labyrinth was a project I began while teaching at a local Memphis High School. With the current uproar about all that is wrong in the Memphis City Schools, I thought it would be interesting to post the work generated by four high school seniors, who are products of a system that everyone assumes is not capable of developing and producing productive students who can compete in this socioeconomic culture. I edited the book and contributed essays to give the book a shape and form, but it was the work of the students that allowed for the completion of this work. The artwork was completed by the student author DeVarius Fisher and the idea to make the name of each chapter an allusion to a song in Hip-Hop was a collaborative effort. I will post each student essay here on the blog. There is also a Question and Answer section in the book. If you would like to purchase a copy click here. 
 
 
 
 
 
Track


5


Featured Artist: DeVarius Fisher


Trapped: The African American Nihilist

African Americans often have a misplaced affinity for the images of the hood. These influences affect the way we speak, act, and live. This is an issue that is primarily shaped by the things that happen in entertainment. While entertainers say that these images do not affect people, it is the root cause of how we assert ourselves in society. The media market displays images that do not inspire or give hope, they only contribute to the behavior of everyone which leads to nihilism.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Redefining the Labyrinth: Track 3

Redefining the Labyrinth was a project I began while teaching at a local Memphis High School. With the current uproar about all that is wrong in the Memphis City Schools, I thought it would be interesting to post the work generated by four high school seniors, who are products of a system that everyone assumes is not capable of developing and producing productive students who can compete in this socioeconomic culture. I edited the book and contributed essays to give the book a shape and form, but it was the work of the students that allowed for the completion of this work. The artwork was completed by the student author DeVarius Fisher and the idea to make the name of each chapter an allusion to a song in Hip-Hop was a collaborative effort. I will post each student essay here on the blog. There is also a Question and Answer section in the book. If you would like to purchase a copy click here. 




Track
3
Featured Artist: Michael R. Walker
Somethins Gotta Give
Poverty is thought to be the most prominent cause of crime in the black community. A high crime rate will drive businesses out of a neighborhood which eliminates the availability of goods, products, services and a source of jobs. With these elements out of the community, crime will likely become more personal. The crimes that are now being committed against individuals will cause the persons committing these crimes to be sentenced to longer terms in prison. In turn, the prison industrial complex will be expanding due to systemic and automatic incarceration of black Americans, and the poor decisions made by them.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Don't Cry Love


Welp, Valentine's day is 26 days away and stop pretending like you're not thinking about it in Mid-January. After the New Year, the ad campaign to put a Hershey's Caramel/Chocolate kiss in every American's hand only reminds me that, as it seems, once again, this will be the gazillionith year that I will possibly be Valentine-less again. But you know what, it's cool though. My fellow bloggers and readers love me, of this I am sure. Enjoy this poem about love and how I strongly advice against throwing that word around unless you really mean it. (As if, anyone really knows what it really means anyway).

Want more poems? Go to www.youtube.com/lisabpoetry

...and www.speakintothemic.com is coming soon!

P.S. I'm taking applications for a Valentine this upcoming month. No experience necessary. Must have 2 reliable references.

Lisa B.




Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Allow Me To Re-Introduce Myself...


Why wasn’t that just rude of me? I never considered the followers and continuous readers of the CB Publishing blog when I just up and started posting entries without the formal, “Hi, my name is...” I was so caught up in The Game season premiere last Tuesday, that I encroached on this blog’s territory. Well, in all honesty I am not exactly sorry, but this entry is just an excuse for me to take part in one of my favorite past times: writing about myself. Below is the excerpt from the autobiography that I am currently drafting with the working title, AWE: Amazingly Wonderfully Excellent: The True Documented Accounts of the Great Lisa B: Inside the Inside Story


....On a bright June 12, 1980-something day, the world got a little brighter around 6:30/5:30central as a new vibration of sound hit the ether causing a centrifugal force to spread throughout the atmospheric space. And yes, I did not look up any of those words to back up the validity of that sentence. Anyway, it is said that someone may have possibly not quite but maybe saw God’s teardrop fall into Lake Michigan causing the water to overwhelmingly tide over the shoreline of Gary, IN. His best work yet was being delivered not to far away at Methodist Hospital. After 3 seconds of painless labor, God’s bundle of grace was handed over to the joyous first time mother. Well, the mother actually had two other children, beforehand, but after cradling this angel, “the last shall be first” made sense to her. It is also recorded, but not really written down, that when the nurse smacked the baby’s bottom to hear the first cry as a sign of oxygen hitting the lungs, there came no sound. Instead the baby pointed to a nearby pen and pad. The nurse handed it to the Gift from God and to everyone’s amazement, watched the child write down, “Waaahh Waaaahhh Wah!” while humming Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing. Then the finger of that same small baby reached up to wipe away the lone tear that slowly trickled down the face of her mother. “Shhhh,” the baby comforted, “I’m here now. Everything will be alright.” The mother named the baby girl Queen Elizabeth Beasley. However, the same nurse who recorded the baby’s first authorial moment, misplaced the birth certificate and the child was hereby known by her nickname, Lisa B...


I know you’re dying to read the rest of my autobiography. For now, I’ll tell you all you need to know and the rest can be found on my facebook page. I write, act, sing, and dance. I’m a professional performer, spoken word artist, graphic designer, and lover of Jazz History which I believe tells the story of America. I’m in every relational position that a woman can be in, except wife, mother, and/or mistress. I started a company called Lifted Soul, INC in 2009 and so far, so great. I hope you check back often to read my factually based opinions.


Also, I’ll keep you posted on the autobiography that I am currently drafting with the working title, AWE: Amazingly Wonderfully Excellent: The True Documented Accounts of the Great Lisa B: Inside the Inside Story


Here are a few of the critiques I’ve gotten:

Trust me, you’re not gonna wanna put down this Almost but not really kinda sorta true story down. 5.6 stars.

-Nu Yurk Times


I’m turning into a movie.

-The Guy Who Made Avatar.


Lisa B.

www.liftedsoul.com

www.youtube.com/lisabpoetry

www.thegamerecap.blogspot.com


Thursday, January 13, 2011

So Vividly Alive: HBCU Poetry Anthology

Submission Dates: January 15th to February 15th

Requirements: Poets must be currently enrolled in an HBCU and be in good standing at the school of enrollment.

Guidelines for submission: 1 copy of the poem. The poem can be a maximum of 42 lines. Line length can vary and poems can be either free verse or written in meter. The poet's submission must include the name, year (Freshman, Soph. etc), e-mail, College/University, major, website. If your poem is accepted you will be contacted and asked to send an e-mail version of your poem to increase the speed in formatting the book. You can submit up to 3 poems. All poems will be considered.  Poets can not have been published prior to submission. Self-published poets will be considered.

Poem format: The title and poem should be left justified. All information listed above should be stapled to a separate sheet of paper.

Content: Topics should discuss and pertain to an array of topics. Vulgarity is not recommended, but if purposefully used and relevant, poems with cursing will still be considered.

*Only 20 poets will be selected.*

Reason for this anthology: In this digital society, the student has become maligned and all the problems of the culture sit at the feet of young men and women who are encountering a world that none of us have had to face. Hidden in Facebook, Twitter, text messages, and countless YouTube videos are the ideas of a new generation. They have learned to TTYL, LOL, and IDK, their opinions in rapid fire flicks of the thumb, but at the core of it all there seems to be something missing. There is something that is not as concrete in this digital world. The words and images in cyberspace can be manipulated, misunderstood and in a day's time, easily forgotten. This collection of poems is going to give words that can be read and considered longer than a random abbreviated text message. In time, these poets may become the next August Wilson, Octavia Butler, Richard Wright, or Gwendolyn Brooks. The title is an allusion to the words Ralph Ellison stated in the introduction to his book of essays Shadow and Act. After working with students at the high school and collegiate level, I don't think they are a lost generation.  I think they have something that can't be explained, I think they are vividly alive.

Submissions should be sent to:
Prof. Christopher D. Burns
LeMoyne-Owen College
Fine Arts and Humanities
807 Walker Avenue
Memphis, TN. 38126

Book Cover Submissions: Open to all art students at HBCUs. Ideas for the Cover Art can be sent to the above address. Cover Art should be created in png, jpg, gif format. The drawings should be 6x9. Artwork should be submitted to cdburns@cbpublish.com 
All artwork will be considered for publication in the book. Please include all relevant contact information with your e-mail submission. Including the title of the art. Your e-mail should have a subject line of: So Vividly Alive: Artwork.

Poets and authors will not be compensated, but all poets selected will receive a complimentary copy of the book. Partial proceeds from the sale of this anthology will be donated to the LeMoyne-Owen College Fine Arts & Humanities Department.

Part 2: Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships - Chapter 25

Chapter 25

I told you to bear with me. Now aren’t you glad you did? The whole engagement thing went over without a hitch. If I don’t say so myself it was smooth, just like me. Come on now, you know I’m smooth... Don’t front.

I truly hope you understand where this came from. I just felt a need to give you my story in the best way I knew how. I knew if I would’ve just told you about the Stages you woulda been like, “And who are you?” Sometimes a story has to be told. This is just the way I see it, but every man has a story, if you ask. But if you fail to ask then you’ll never know. In other words make a brother talk, before you give him your soul, make sure he’s willing to give you his. Who says all men are dogs? Whatever.



Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Who says we're not reading?


Speaking of reading, some organization polled America that revealed the latest statistics about the decline of readers. They developed this poll by researching how many people checked out library books and the sales of books in closing stores such as Barnes-n-Noble. People still go to library? If I had the tools, I would do a follow up research on how many people now read from Kindles, Nooks, iPads, download books from mobile apps, and other electronic devices that they didn’t include in that poll. Don’t let them start making us feel like our intelligence is on decline because of the rise of technology. After all, I make it a point to read my newsfeed on facebook every single day.

Futhermore, I just read the first two chapters of Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationship written by the creator of this blog. Who just added that to their research? I am not only a lover of physical books, but a lover of reading...period. Whether it's curling up with a page-turner or a scroll-downer, I read every single day.

Ladies, in order news, according to chapter two of the book, men ease drop on our conversations and then plot to get us into a debate (because we all like to argue). What did I learn from this? To look over my shoulders when I'm talking to my girlfriends to see if any men are around who I want to easedrop on my conversation and before you know it...it's date night!

Lisa B.

Part 2: Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships - Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Stage Four isn’t approached without trepidation. It’s an awkward time for any man. Making a commitment is one thing but saying to a woman that you want to live the rest of your life with her is an entirely different monster. In other words Stage Four is the final phase before you leave the Stages behind altogether and graduate.

But this book is about the Stages not the graduation, so allow me to give you the specifics of what Stage Four is:

The road that has been traveled had so many obstructions in what lay ahead, that you can barely believe that you made it this far. You have finally accepted the fact that life is meant to be shared with the woman you care for, honor, and above all respect. Love comes after all of these other things. At Stage Four the words I love you are small compared to the feelings that you have for your lady. When you said those words in all the other stages it was a word that conveyed what you thought you felt. In Stage Four you no longer think it you live love, breath love and share it: that it being a commonality, sexual and mental connection that heightens each day that you are with her.

At the point when all of this has finally come together, you take the last step and ask her for her heart in marriage. You have doubts, but those fears soon subside when you realize that your relationship has survived the strains of ex girlfriends and major arguments. You buy the ring and become a part of a life circle. A never ending connection of souls that when completed will have no beginning and no end.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

THE GAME

Why do we love The Game so friggin much? Maybe because it's one of a very few shows that features a majority African American cast that doesn't make us feel ashamed (or is it just me that can't sit through an show of Tyler Perry's episodic let downs?)

The spin-off to the hit show Girlfriends, is finally coming off of it's two year hiatus and the media says that the fans are part of the reason for bringing the show back. After they took Girlfriends away from us in a conclusionless season, we wouldn't allow that to happen again.

Regardless of the behind the scenes and business end of why the show change networks is really irrelevant to us. All we wanna know if, what happens after Kelly and Jason got a divorce? Who keeps Britt-Bratt? Is that really Derwin's Baby? Who Tasha snappin' on next? (They say I'm lous, brash, and ghetto. They forgot BALLIN') Is Malik ever gonna change? How is Melanie juggling her career and being a wife.

After two years, I am so geeked and people I don't even know on facebook, comment under my status (which have been devoted to the hit show). I've changed my profile pic and everything.

Part 2: Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships - Chapter 23

Chapter 23

I’m still trying to figure out a few things. If a relationship can be as good as it was with me and Janice why in the hell was I so afraid to try it before? I know the trauma from the first girlfriend thing was my excuse, but it was just that, an excuse. I should’ve done this relationship thing a long time ago. I’ve done things with Janice that you only do with a girl that you know and trust. Everything we do seems to be more fulfilling.

There are things that she does to keep our relationship fresh. She sits down on certain days and maintains a book, kinda like a log of all we do. The log has pictures, silly letters and other little things that we could look at and laugh at. That seemed so small to me when she started the book. Now that book is like an intricate part of who we are, it grew. All of the little stuff like catching a movie or walking and talking about things that we want and have dreamed about is something that I obviously hadn’t done with anybody else, except maybe Laney. I once thought that settling down meant you run out of things to talk about in a year or two. That can happen if you stop doing things. But the hobbies that we have always gives Janice and I some kinda conversational pieces. She reads a lot of books, which always gives her something to say and it’s not just meaningless little words to fill quiet space. Each word is meaningful, unless we’re just trippin. Janice is a dream come true for me, and Tina is a dream woman for Flip. The closer it came for me to propose though, the more nervous I got. I started feeling like I was doing this proposal thing more for myself than I was for her. Maybe it was a new experience that I wanted to have. I didn’t know. I just started feeling uncomfortable.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Part 2: Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships - Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Life becomes a habit if you don’t start doing something in your spare time to keep you sane. I had continued with my music, but I’d picked up another trade in my spare time, something I’d come to enjoy thoroughly, writing.

Flip had added more speakers to his house and bought a new amp for his system. He even bought a four track machine to record some stuff he and Tina had started doing. She played the piano and sang. Flip played the guitar, not well, but he was getting there. We would spend our Saturdays going to the beach or barbecuing in Flip’s backyard. Oh, Janice learned how to shop more efficiently and less over the course of the year, which was a really good thing for her. I guess clothes had become her hobby. She had even begun designing some skirts and other things. She hadn’t done anything with the designs, but she really got into it. Some of her stuff was really flyy.

Anyway December 3rd, Flip and I went to the mall to start looking for Christmas gifts. He had to buy things for his folks and I was looking for another gift for my sister and something for my mom who has everything already, except me at home.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Part 2: Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships - Chapter 21

Chapter 21

I was on top of the world after that night. My life seemed so perfect. We shared our first week with each other talking and feeling excited about us. It all seemed like a dream. I never expected to be this happy. The second week passed and Flip and I had talked about everything. About how I had adjusted and how he and Tina were doing. I knew that the day we went to church together that everything had changed in Tina and Flip’s lives. I could see it in her confidence and in the way he said her name everytime he had a chance. For the first time since Flip and I had been boys we shared the same thoughts about women and relationships. I remember saying that if there were three men, one would be Stage Four, one would be Stage Three and the other Stage Two. In all honesty I’m not sure how that one works. But I can confirm how Flip and I were, Stage Three all the way, the right way.

The wrong way would’ve been decisions to be with the ladies strictly for our own personal reasons. We laughed and joked at work and it made the days fly by. Our spirits seemed to affect everyone. The guys on the line seemed to be pushing out the equipment just as fast as we could inspect it. Even the engineers upstairs were coming down to the floor and inspecting stuff, at least trying to inspect stuff. Work was good and life was great, life is great.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Part 2: Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships - Chapter 20


Chapter 20

We made it home at a little after 10 pm. I instantly walked in and turned on the radio, which was routine for me. Janice walked over and turned it down.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“I really can’t stand loud music late at night.”

“That wasn’t loud.” I turned the radio back to where it was.

“It’s loud Terrence.”

I knew we were headed into argument territory so I backed down. Sometimes you have to back down, but not all the time.

“I’m going to leave the radio on, but I’ll turn it down okay?”

“That’s cool,” she said confidently.

“Don’t think you’re going to win every little fight we have.”

“I don’t expect to. I don’t plan on fighting over too much, do you?” She slipped her shoes and socks off.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Get to Know: Fashawn

Hip-Hop has had a black eye for so long that often emcees who drop an LP get love although they are actually pretty mediocre. Now I'm not saying that guys like Wiz, Currensy or Wale aren't dropping new age gems, but they are not quite there yet in terms of dropping classics. An album that dropped in 09, may be the best Hip-Hop album that has been made in recent years.  This is a big claim, but definitely needed.

Fashawn's name is highly regarded in circles that respect the art of the emcee, but is often overlooked when discussions of the best new emcees are dropped. I understand that longevity is the key but when Drake is hailed as the second coming, I guess it is in regard to mainstream. Fashawn at an early age has learned to weave narratives, and lines into a quilted pattern of blankets that cover the tracks like black ice on streets in the winter. The flow is a fulid slippery slope of metaphors that pull the listener into their own adolescent struggles and makes you remember your first fight, girl, failure and success. Boy Meets World is a modern classic and earns the right to be compared to Nas' Illmatic. I just hope people will actually begin mentioning this emcee more often. The Ecology will drop in 2011 and I'll be watching for it; you should do the same.

Part 2: Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships - Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Stage Three Amendment Two: When everything is stated and it’s honest and sincere, there is a feeling that comes over you that makes you shiver. It isn’t a small thing. It’s very noticeable and you remember it. It is the moment you realize that maybe you’ve found the right person.



I had to place in maybe because we have not, I repeat have not, made it to Stage Four. After that Saturday night at Flip’s house Janice and I went to our own homes. I didn’t push anything. I wanted to let everything settle down for a while before I tried to make love, or have sex, or relations, whatever you wanna call it. I wanted to give her time to reconsider and make sure she made the right decision. I also waited, for the same reason. When we left Flip’s place we all felt relieved, I think. Maybe the feeling wasn’t relief, it may have been something closer to true happiness. I hugged Janice and walked her to her car which was parked further down the street.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Part 2: Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships - Chapter 18

Chapter 18
I thought about what I would say to Janice on the drive to the house. How would I begin? I had been practicing certain lines like, “I want this thing to work but it’s gonna take both of us.” Nothing seemed real. It all sounded rehearsed. I figured when I saw her I’d know what to say. We pulled up in front of the house, I didn’t see her car. The garage door was open and my car sat next to Tina’s inside. But Janice’s car was nowhere in sight. I felt kinda depressed when I saw that.

I had really changed and I couldn’t believe that it had happened. Over the course of putting this down on paper everything I thought was going to happen didn’t. I converted and the funny thing is Clyde my barber said it would happen soon. He was right. When I asked him to give that card to old girl at the shop, he said something that I declined to say. That day in the shop went down like this, I hope you remember:

Monday, January 3, 2011

Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships - Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Stage Three amendment: When a man has come to a fork in the road, he can’t sit and take his time. He has to choose and accept what may come. No turning back and going to look down the other road. Keep straight and accept it. Allow God to do his job and all things will turn out fine.

I thought long and hard about what had occurred. I knew that I’d made a mistake and that I’d blown my chance at stepping up. What I didn’t know was that I’d blow it in an attempt at moving up to Stage Three. That could’ve caused a bigger problem in the long run if I would’ve acted on my emotions and called Ros or Laney. The thought had crossed my mind. But I knew I had to reconsider. I wrote in my journal and it finally came to me. I had to get Janice back. I knew if I got Flip to talk to Tina then I could get back in there, but I had to fix this one. I had to take responsibility.

I didn’t talk to Janice for a week. That next weekend I had to help Flip move to his new place. He didn’t have much stuff, but the things he did have weighed a ton. We rented a truck and started with the living room. He refused to put his CD player and stereo stuff in the truck even though he still had the boxes for it all. There is nothing like a man and his music. Without a good stereo system a man is only half the man he could be. The same thing holds true for a man and his car. Flip saved all of his stereo equipment to move last. He put all of his stereo equipment into his SC. We filled the truck with all of the stuff and began cleaning the apartment. We didn’t have much to do considering Flip had stop spending the night at his house. He was staying with Tina at her crib, which is normal I guess. It’s that whole process when you start dating seriously. You spend one week at her house she spends the next week at yours. It eventually gets to the point that you question why you both have a place to stay. The normal progression is to make the next jump, moving in together. I guess that’s why Flip was asking me about it that day.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships - Chapter 16

Chapter 16

A reflection can be found anywhere, or it can come at anytime. Two of the most important reflections I’ve had in my adulthood happened because of a conversation with a brother three years younger than myself. Flip, like he said about Tina, was brought into my life for a reason. People coming into your life can happen guy to guy, just as it does with men and women. I knew it and I thanked God for bringing me a brother.

What I didn’t appreciate was his Stage Three whining. I just wasn’t in the mood for it. But he was my boy so I had to listen. Do you recall when I said that this book wasn’t going to change me, and that it was just a handbook? I guess by now you realize it’s more than that. It’s therapy. I’ve been listening to myself and actually paying attention to everything that’s going on around me. And for once, I’m willing to say that I would like to find a little peace.

It would be nice to wake up next to someone, without saying, “Damn, Damn, Damn,” like Florida Evans. It would be nice to know who’s calling when the phone rings and it would be nice to have consecutive birthday’s with the same woman. But there is always some unfinished business to take care of, so until I finish I won’t make that move. I’ll continue with what I’m doing.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Video for Night Catches Us

Night Catches Us

Night Catches Us: "In 1976, after years of mysterious absence, Marcus (Anthony Mackie, “The Hurt Locker”) returns to the Philadelphia neighborhood where he came of age in the midst of the Black Power movement."

Stages: A Handbook on Men and Relationships - Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Sometimes the Lord puts people into your life for a reason. Why question everything? Then again why not? I’m not saying doubt, or that I don’t believe, but you have to wonder. I still was bothered by what Flip told me and I just couldn’t make sense of it all in my head. Why would she choose him to, “come out of the closet,” so to speak?

We spoke about it again that night on the phone. I was about to meet Janice at her place to talk. But I was somewhat intimidated by what a conversation would hold after hearing about Tina and her problem. I’m sure Janice had gone through it all with her, and held the same feelings that Tina may have had about men. Maybe that’s why she wanted to really get close to me. She probably assumed that Flip and I were at the same Stage. What’s kind of buggin me right now is how Flip stepped up and accepted what had been put in his face. He thought about the whole situation and decided to stick it out. I know I would’ve ran away. I’m just not at that point in my life where I can handle that kind of situation.

I said when I started that I would remain honest throughout and I will. I would’ve ran away because to stay with her after that kind of info would’ve placed me into serious commitment territory. A place I’d been avoiding for a long time, but it was a place that was slowly beginning to seem like the right thing to do. But how am I to know when I’m supposed to settle down? For Flip, everything kind of lined itself up in a nice package and dropped into his lap. He was frustrated and tired of being by himself. I don’t mean physically by himself. He explained it like this a few weeks before we met Tina and Janice.
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